I’m going to take a break today from visiting obscure search systems (and writing long 2-part posts) to share with you a delightful patent application that I hold very close to my heart. I usually don’t spend my spare time reading the image file wrappers of US patent applications in PAIR, but I will openly admit that I spent a solid two hours one Saturday morning reading the entire file for US Application No. 11/161,345.
After the jump, discover the secrets of 11/161,345, a.k.a “Godly Powers!”
On the surface, US application 11/161,345 looks unassuming. A quick keyword search on Google Patents retrieves a rather dull looking cover page, without any images to illustrate the insanity hidden within the text. The publication number for the published US patent application is US2007/0035812 A1, and the inventor/assignee Christopher Anthony Roller has titled the invention “Godly Powers.”
So what exactly is the gist of the invention? Let’s take a quick look at the abstract:
Christopher Anthony Roller is a godly entity. “Granters” had been given my powers (acquired my powers) (via God probably). These “granters” have been receiving financial gain from godly powers. These “granters” may be using their powers without morals. Chris Roller wants exclusive right to the ethical use and financial gain in the use of godly powers on planet Earth. The design of godly-products have no constraints, just like any other invention, but the ethnic consideration of it’s use will likely be based on a majority vote of a group, similar to law creation. The commission I require could range from 0-100% of product price, depending on the product’s value and use.
So this gentleman is granted godly powers (via God, probably), and he wants us to pay 0-100% for the product of his divine designs? Ok, sounds reasonable. But wait, the claims make this document even more intriguing:
7. From claim 1 and 6, some grantees may be using their powers without morals.
8. Claim 1 is proved via David Copperfield, who has been using godly powers for his financial gain (MN Federal case 05-446JRT/FLN) and hiding knowledge of godly powers as stated in claim 7.
There’s a federal court case against David Copperfield?! I just had to read more. It was like reading the first chapter of a book; I couldn’t stop at the cliffhanger. Luckily, this saga is freely accessible via the public PAIR portal. Just visit the portal, prove your humanity by typing the verification code, search for Application Number 11161345, and you’re there.
First of all, to the patent examiner Tod Van Roy who had to handle this application: I salute you, sir. Now, let’s look at the Image File Wrapper and some sample quotes from the documents of this one-of-a-kind case:
- 3/17/08- Non-Final Rejection, page 7 of PDF- “The specification has not described how one of ordinary skill in the art could make or use the claimed godly powers.”
- 6/09/2008 – Applicant Arguments/Remarks Made in an Amendment, page 2 of PDF- “Like software, godly powers is a method, and affects a machine. Like business methods, godly powers produces a useful, concrete, and tangible result, and that should be all that’s needed for statutory material.”
- 7/14/2008 – Miscellaneous Incoming Letter (a copy of the David Copperfield lawsuit), page 3 of PDF in cliff notes- You just have to see this for yourself:
So, in conclusion: if you have some free time, skim this file history for an hour or so to learn about the incredible saga of Christopher Roller’s attempt to patent his godly powers. Has anyone found a file in PAIR more interesting than this one? Let us know in the comments!
This post was contributed by Joelle Mornini. The Intellogist blog is provided for free by Intellogist’s parent company Landon IP, a major provider of patent searches, trademark searches, technical translations, and information retrieval services.