Creepy Costume Patents

Halloween is here next week, and that means a few things to kids: scary movies, Charlie Brown’s TV Special on The Great Pumpkin, and a large insulin response due to massive quantities of high fructose corn syrup.  However, for the adults, the art of costuming takes on a whole new meaning.  Sure, the kids want a cool costume, but that is because they are fickle, and cannot yet determine that all of their favorite characters are just fads relating to people of a certain generation (or that cartoons shown in the 80s are the only true cartoons…we will include all of the Hanna-Barbera and Warner Bros. cartoons from the 60s that were recycled in the 80s on that list).  With novelty stores replacing their risqué merchandise with Halloween costumes (both risqué and regular) and decorations, let’s take a look at some of the best efforts by inventors who stood strong and refused to spend their patent application budgets on Halloween candy, fake blood, and tickets to an Uwe Boll movie.

After the jump, check out some creepy costume patents!

1) Costume (robot style)

A robot costume or a walking iPod?

As the great poets Bret and Jermaine once said, “The distant future, the distant future, the year 2000…finally robotic beings rule the world.”  This costume allows you to blend in as one of the robots in order to aid in your survival.  However, if the robots don’t take over, then this also makes a great Halloween costume.

2) Weather and climate adaptive Halloween costume

If they ever build a Disney World in Antarctica, this costume will come in handy.

As October 31st is often cold and damp, this costume will protect you from the elements and that terrible flu bug that is going around.   However, you will have to repeatedly answer questions about whether you are an elephant or some sort of weird looking rat with magical powers due to strange lab experiments.

3) Illuminated Halloween costume

Doubles as vampire deterrent.

You may not be Disco Stu, but you can certainly advertise with this awesome illuminating costume.  Just remember that wearing your hat backwards went out of style at the end of the 90s.

4) Bleeding costume element

Doubles as vampire lure.

For those who are interested in scaring the young children, or winning 50 bucks and free Keystone beers at the local watering hole’s costume contest, a mask that squirts out fake blood is sure to be on your list.  Just remember that corn syrup and red dye is probably better than using ketchup.  Oh wait, those two things are basically the same thing.

5) Motorized flapping costume wings

Not quite as effective as a jet pack.

Now you can fly, on your wings, like an eagle, fly as high as the sun, just like Icarus did.  If that doesn’t work, you can always be the Bumblebee Girl.

Next time:  Danny awakes from his food induced coma in time to vote for one of the great candidates for President.

Find previous writings and musings from the off-kilter Danny Rooney here.

Patent Searches from Landon IP

This post was contributed by Registered Patent Agent Dan Wolka and edited by Joelle Mornini. The Intellogist blog is provided for free by Intellogist’s parent company, Landon IP, a major provider of patent search, technical translation, and information services.


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