5 Ways to Keep Cool with Patents

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It’s been three weeks since my last post. In that time, so much has occurred as I’ve taken the choo-choo train across Europe. In the European Championships (official song – Endless Summer), my teams had mixed results. Holland disappointed, bowing out of the tournament without a single win and causing their coach to quit. Portugal had a much better time by getting to the semi-finals, but losing out in what turned out to be a very strange penalty shootout, where the well-coifed one didn’t even take a penalty. Note to the coach: when your fans, of Portuguese origin or not, watch both Pepe and Bruno Alves step up to the spot and immediately scream NOOOO, then you know you picked the wrong players. If only Helder Postiga hadn’t been injured, he could have countered Ramos’ Panenka with a Panenka of his own. Even my fake fifth cousin Wayne couldn’t bring England past Italy (via yet another Panenka by Pirlo). Apparently the old saying “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” for old Wayne meant his fitness never left Nevada.

In tennis news, the French Open finished on a Monday due to a rain delay, David Nalbandian forfeited the final of Queens Club tournament after accidentally kicking a line judge and Wimbledon action has started, sending shares of strawberries and Pimm’s through the roof (note to self: sell shares BEFORE the final, not AFTER).

In these past three weeks, the temperature has gone from 70°F (21°C) to over 90°F (32°C), causing a number of large wildfires in Colorado. Since summer has now officially started (causing most retailers to clear up their summer stock and put out the Back-to-School stuff, even though the school year just ended), I want to salute the following inventors that have toiled through the summer heat to make your lives a little less sweaty.

1) Folding Personal Fan

folding fan operating

The fan in an operable state.

folded fan

The fan in a folded state, ready to be smuggled in your extra large cargo shorts.

An alternative to the folding fan, for when using your arm just isn’t good enough. Optional cage helps prevent blade cuts.

2) Necklace fan

necklace fan

Has Lady Gaga worn one of these yet?

This necklace fan helps you look good while staying cool. Call now and we’ll add white gold and encrusted diamonds to complete the look.

3) Mist air conditioner for evaporative cooler

mist cooler

There’s a nice mist cool-down area beyond the outfield at Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati–no joke!

This evaporative cooler helps you stay cool and saves you money. With the price of necklace fans skyrocketing, that’s just good business.

4) Personal air cooling device

personal air cooling device

This guy is so happy…I wonder what kind of gas that is?

You know the warnings on plastic bags that say not to put them over your head, or the heads of children, since they are a suffocation risk? Well now you can get that same look, still receive life-giving oxygen, be safe, and stay cool (in more than one way) at the same time.

5) Personal air-cooled garment apparatus

cooling vest

Goes with any outfit, especially if you’re Jim Tressel.

For some, there is a body-shaping product called Spanx that tightens your core, giving both men and women a more shapely waistline, but adding another layer of clothing. With this air-cooled garment, you can get the function of Spanx, without the extra heat.

Next time: Danny conquers his pierogi withdrawal with some good, old fashioned fast food, Chicken (term used loosely) McNuggets. Dimethylpolysiloxane has never tasted so good.

Find previous writings and musings from the off-kilter Danny Rooney here.

Patent Searches from Landon IP

This post was contributed by Registered Patent Agent Dan Wolka and edited by Chris Jagalla. The Intellogist blog is provided for free by Intellogist’s parent company, Landon IP, a major provider of patent search, technical translation, and information services.

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