5 Patents for Sports Fans

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Danny Rooney here. Manchester United is the team my fake fifth cousin Wayne plays for, and therefore I despise everything about Liverpool FC (except Steve McManaman…great name). Not just for footballing reasons though, although who wouldn’t prefer America’s team (Everton FC), just a 5 minute walk away from Anfield. Everton is the home of Tim Howard, Marcus Hahnemann, Landycakes (Landon Donovan), and possibly Edson Buddle. Still, it’s not quite FulhAmerica of a few years ago. Also, I’ve always been more of a Rolling Stones fan than a Beatles fan. The reason I mention Liverpool FC is because they have been dropped by Adidas (ha, ha!) (the manufacturer of their jerseys), and picked up by Michigan-based Warrior Sports.

Now that I am within shouting distance of the jersey manufacturer for a European soccer club, today seemed like a good day to take a look at some of the best sports apparel that has graced the patent office.

1) Combination jacket and sports jerseyUS 2004/0163155 A1

reversible jacket

If there's one thing Michigan fans love, it's buying themed apparel.

This jacket/jersey combo is a perfect gift for a friend, especially if that friend is 6’8” with bushy hair and is essentially a shut-in, who got his other jacket stolen by a homeless person. Or, if they’re just a big Denard Robinson fan. Either way.

2) Decorative propane tank assemblyUS 2011/0210130 A1

propane tank

There's nothing disturbing about tapping a giant head to get the gas to cook your steak. At all.

With all of the new helmets that are being made to help better prevent concussions, something will need to be done with all the old helmets. Why not help make that propane tank go from ugly to awesome? Your grill will thank you.

3) Collectible display deviceUS 2002/0011502 A1

jersey display

Show off your jersey collection and give your children nightmares at the same time.

For the fan that already has everything, a jersey display device.

4) Tear way athletic jerseyUS 2010/0192276 A1

tear away jersey

Wait a second...this guy was pretending to be a fan of one of the teams, but is secretly the ref? Or a fan of the refs? This raises more questions than it answers, frankly.

For the fan who can’t decide who to root for because they don’t know anything about sports. This person typically wins your office March Madness pool.

5) Novelty sports capUS 2007/0130670 A1


Get your game face on.

Nothing says true fandom like a part of your favorite player’s face on a baseball cap. Not at all creepy.

Next time: Danny goes to Warrior Sports HQ and asks the actual employees if they know who Liverpool FC is. The response of “who” resonates throughout.

Find previous writings and musings from the off-kilter Danny Rooney here.

Patent Information from Landon IP

This post was contributed by Registered Patent Agent Dan Wolka and edited by Chris Jagalla. The Intellogist blog is provided for free by Intellogist’s parent company, Landon IP, a major provider of patent search, technical translation, and information services.


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