Patents for Working Out at the Workplace

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Well, we’re still here. I guess the Mayans were wrong. Who would have expected that the end of the world wouldn’t have actually occurred except for Harold Camping …wait, what’s that? The Mayans actually predicted that December 21 was the date in question? And it’s really just the end of a cycle and not the end of the world? John Cusack, how could you let me down like that? I haven’t been this disappointed in you since Hot Tub Time Machine.

The New Year is a time for deep reflection and creating resolutions based upon said deep reflection. But who are we kidding…everyone’s top two resolutions are losing weight and making more money. I can’t help you out with the later unless you are interested in some real estate that also happens to cross a body of water, but I can help you lose those holiday pounds fueled by booze, cubed cheese, cookies, and processed meat-based substances using products that Billy Mays would have been proud to shoot at you while watching TV at 3 am on a Tuesday.

Read all about the exciting world of workout-while-at-work patents ahead!

Treadmill desk – US 2008/0058169 A1

treadmill desk

Strap in, so that surprise e-mail from your boss doesn't result in a tragic accident.

For those who want to jump into their new resolution, the treadmill desk is perfect for you. That $5000 will go to good use for a few days, until you become tired of it, and put it in the basement with your Tickle Me Elmo doll, your spaghetti lid strainer, and your Juice Loosener.

Exercise device for under a desk – US 2005/0054492 A1

under desk workout

Pedal hard enough and your desk will launch into orbit.

For those who want to be a bit more discreet with their exercising, the under the desk pedal set will get those legs burning in no time. Just plan your responses ahead of time for the inevitable question from co-workers: “Why are you breathing like you just ran a marathon, if you’re just sitting there?”

Office exercise furniture – US 2002/0142898 A1

exercise chair

Arm rests just sound lazy. They're called "rests," after all!

Once you’ve blasted your quads, why not work out the guns. Plus, you can practice your moves for that Top Gun 2 audition coming up.

Apparatus enabling one person to do arm-wrestling exercise – US 5,458,554 A

arm wrestling machine

Do you think Stallone practiced with this for his role in Over the Top?

Why would someone keep an arm-wrestling machine at their desk? Let’s just say I’ve seen worse.

Furniture for mitigating the effects of a disaster – US 2007/0125012 A1

disaster desk

This desk has blast shields, is bulletproof, and can withstand different types of disasters, like earthquakes. This is all true.

You know, just in case the Mayans were right.

Find previous writings and musings from the off-kilter Danny Rooney here.

Patent Information from Landon IP

This post was contributed by Registered Patent Agent Dan Wolka and edited by Chris Jagalla. The Intellogist blog is provided for free by Intellogist’s parent company, Landon IP, a major provider of patent search, technical translation, and information services.

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