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With so many disappointing and disconcerting things going on, from the USA choking away the Women’s World Cup final (although a heavy congratulations to Japan is in order), to the politicians preoccupied with taking part in the debt ceiling discussions, to Rebecca Black’s strange new video, there should be plenty to complain about. However, playing soccer outside in this heat wave has taught me something; only think about complaining if the temperature is less than 100 °F (38 °C) outside. Therefore, I have decided to turn over a new leaf and only complain when appropriate. My motto has become “Entertain, not Complain (except where appropriate). I Guarantee to be Funny (not a guarantee).” So in that spirit, I want to look to the future and expand upon my last post. This week I plan on discussing some unique patents that I think will be required by the gentleman of the future (think 20-30 years from now).
If the media has taught me anything (and it hasn’t), it is that we will all be so busy working and watching, and then texting, tweeting, iPad-ing, and Liking what we are working and watching, that we will have even less time to eat our food. Therefore I predict the common spork will make a renaissance among men, becoming the go-to utensil to solve all of our food shoveling needs.
This multi-purpose plate (also know as the FǑBAP), available in cream, eggshell, isabelline, and magnolia, skillfully combines all essential kitchenware items, and even includes a holder for your spork. As a gentleman of the future, you do need some sort of refinement.
Remember in 1983 when doing the robot was cool? Well it’s back, thanks to Sir Peter Crouch, whose tireless work with Lady Gaga as part of The Robot Dancing Foundation, has made it the top dance of the future. Just remember, in the future, the robot is performed in a robot suit.
Will Chuck Norris be alive in the future? Of course he will. Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death; he wins fair and square. I’m sure the inventor of the Total Body Exercise device was inspired by the man who brought you the Total Gym and the Martial Arts Battle Royale Ring. As a man of the future, you better be working out, otherwise Chuck Norris will find you and this will happen.
Next time: Danny finds out from his female colleagues what devices the future woman will need.
This post was contributed by Registered Patent Agent Dan Wolka and edited by Chris Jagalla. The Intellogist blog is provided for free by Intellogist’s parent company, Landon IP, a major provider of patent search, technical translation, and information services.