Patents for the Apocalypse

As the holiday season is fast upon us, one would expect to see some patents related to the holidays, but since yesterday was 12/12/12, and the Mayan Apocalypse is fast upon us, it seems like the best use of time in what could be my last post before the end of the world would be to help highlight some of the things that will keep us safe during the upcoming Apocalypse (I don’t think excessively long, run-on sentences are one of them).  There are many signs that the Mayans are correct. Hockey has disappeared from the face of the planet, causing tons of negative karmic energy to come streaming out of Canada. The Gangham Style dance express to one billion YouTube views has taken over from the Macarena as possibly the weirdest dance trend ever.  And Chelsea won the Champions League despite finishing fifth in the Premier League.  So, in short, we’re doomed (unless, of course, the Mayans went all Harold Camping on us, and they turn out to be wrong).

It’s better to be safe than sorry, though, so continue reading for patents to help you survive the (maybe) oncoming Apocalypse!

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