Fun Spring Cleaning Patents

It is officially spring, which means the onslaught of summer has been put on hold, at least for another week. The warm weather in many parts of the world is bringing about the early blooming of some spectacular foliage, teasing everyone just enough until the crushing heat returns to dry everything up, signaling the true start of summer. In the sports world, spring marks a transitional period as NCAA basketball has wrapped up, MLB and MLS are starting up, and the NBA and EPL are heading into the home stretch. (BRB ASAP, I need to get some PBJ and OJ to celebrate Acronym Day, LOL.) Spring is also a good time to partake in everyone’s favorite activity: chores, specifically spring cleaning. While some might enjoy this activity, the rest of us think about the old infomercial adage, “There’s got to be a better way?!

Well, my friends, there is…at least theoretically, as I present to you some of the best cleaning patents.

1) Improvement in Machines for Cleaning Barrels and Casks

barrel cleaner

You guys have lots of barrels to clean, right?

There once was a time when drinking booze was safer and healthier than drinking tap water due to the various nasty microorganisms swimming around in the water supply. All of those delicious ales and whiskies were stored in casks, and dag nab it, those casks ain’t about to clean themselves, consarn it.

2) Indicator for a robotic cleaner

robo buddy

Sometimes robots are your only friends and you give them names and hug them.

This vacuum cleaner will save you time and money. Just be careful, or something awful could happen.

3) Squeegee blades for removing cleaning solutions from flat surfaces by manual and motorized cleaning equipment

robo cleaner 2

It's kind of like a mini Zamboni, which has been a long-held dream of mine.

Infomercials follow a certain trend. The better the pitchman, the more products are sold at 4am on a Thursday. You probably haven’t heard of this product as the pitchman is no Billy Mays or Vince, but man is it effective!

4) Vacuum Storage Container with Integrated Pump

vacuum storage

Item 30 is a "squeeze bulb." Very close to "squeezebox," which momma plays all night according to The Who.

While it’s no Bag Hutch, the Space Bag® from GloboChem uses the power of suction to store your clothes in a small area, meaning you can fit hundreds of Space Bags® in the area of one box. A quick note: if you actually have a need for Space Bags®, you probably have too much stuff and should audition for the show Hoarders.

5) Cleaning Pad Apparatus and System

shammy

Each of those layers is essential. Don't underestimate the layers!

The one, the only, the classic Shamwow! This miraculous device will leave you saying, “I wish I got to clean using layers.”

Next time: Danny grabs a box of Mr. Sparkle and gets scrubbing.

Find previous writings and musings from the off-kilter Danny Rooney here.

Patent Searches from Landon IP

This post was contributed by Registered Patent Agent Dan Wolka and edited by Chris Jagalla. The Intellogist blog is provided for free by Intellogist’s parent company, Landon IP, a major provider of patent search, technical translation, and information services.

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2 Responses

  1. It is reasonable to argue that much of the mundane and repetitious work, ordinarily performed by fatigued and dispirited workers, could be effectively addressed by machines with specialized functions. The issue then becomes whether or not the design and manufacture of specialized machine is an appropriate allocation of finite economic resources. This includes the inventor’s time and energy, assuming it is possible to classify such human qualities as an economic resource.

  2. [...] much-needed humor into this otherwise serious blog, with tips on finding the best musical patents, cleaning patents, grilling patents, and even patents to help you battle zombies during the upcoming Mayan [...]

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